I've been writing most of these posts quite a while after the fact. I have debated back and forth about whether or not I really want to do this blog thing. I have had so many things running through my mind since we started this whole process and I feel like I need to get it down some place other than my head. So, I'm going to catch things up and then try to stay updated along the way from here on out.
During the last post I told you about how we got W. So, after that, we still had G, who was about 11 months old, W who was 3 months old, and of course Hannah and Addison who were 5 and 7. Our house was full, and busy. But, it was good.
The caseworker let me know that during the initial hearing, the judge denied visitation with W's mom because she would not give an explanation of how W's ribs got broken. She wouldn't say anything about it, not even just that she didn't do it. I think she was probably afraid of the dad, even though he had been taken to jail and would be staying there for a while. But, either way, she did not get visits with the baby and the next court date was about a month away so nothing would change until at least that time.
At that time, G was having two visits a week with his mom and two with his dad. That was the hectic part of our life, trying to juggle trips to visits four days a week with work, getting the girls to and from school, and taking care of 2 babies. We had been told in the beginning that G's dad was not in the picture, but it turned out that he was beginning to look like the better parent.
It was hard to think that G could go to live with his dad. My first impression of him wasn't good. He just struck me as a bad dude. He had a couple of arrests on his record plus Z had told us some unpleasant things about him. But, as time went on, he kept proving his dedication to G and to doing what he needed to so he could get his son. Now, 11 months after this case started, G is getting unsupervised visits with his dad 4 days a week for 8 hours each day. It's looking like G will be living with his dad before long, my guess is about 2 more months. I think I'm ok with it. Nathan and I love G so much, but so does his dad. And shouldn't he be with his family if they truely want him and will take good care of him? I think so. It is hard to accept sometimes, but I keep going back to what I told the girls the other day---- what if they were put in a different family, who was a nice family, and had to stay there just because that family liked them. That wouldn't be fair at all. I want G to know that we love him, but we also want what's best for him, not what's easiest for us.
So back to W. He is 9 months old now. He is doing great; rolling over, trying to sit up, cooing, being a happy baby. My relationship with his mom is so different than with G's mom. First of all, I like her. She is easy to like. She is nice to me and Nathan, she expresses appreciation for us taking care of her son, she is crazy about her baby boy, she wants her baby back. All those positive things are the complete opposite of how things go with G's mom. A few months ago, everything was lined up for W to go home. The caseworker had arranged a schedule to allow for increasing visits and overnights so W eased back into his mom's home. We were completely comfortable with the whole thing. I was sure she was going to take good care of W. I had seen her interact with him enough that I knew she would cherish him like we do, like any family should. But, then a big, giant wrench was thrown into the wheel--- the caseworker was fired. Turns out she wasn't doing her job very well. The new caseworker jumped into this case with both feet. She looked at everything. She quickly discovered that the mom was taking drugs, serious drugs. The whole plan was scratched. W's visits went back to being supervised, there were no over nights, and there was no date in sight of him going home. That's where we stand now, supervised visits three times a week, a mom who is still wonderful with her son, but can't manage to pass a drug screen. And, surprisingly enough, I still like her.
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