The awkward stage has begun....

Isaiah's case is nearing the end. We all know it. We all know how things will go. 

I think Isaiah's mom is well aware that her time with him is limited.  She knows we have said we want her to continue a relationship with Isaiah after termination, but I'm sure she also knows we won't be bringing him over to her house once or twice a week and leaving him for a few hours.  Its going to be more like we may meet her at the park and she can play with Isaiah for a little while every few months. 

I know Isaiah will adjust to fewer visits without a problem.  He has a relationship with his mom, but its not a parent/child relationship.  For the last 22 months, he has spent a couple of hours at a time with her, usually with another adult present, and then I come pick him up and we go home.  He likes seeing her, but he will be fine with not seeing her too.  His mom on the other hand, will have a hard time with not seeing him so often.  She feels she she has a bond with him like a mother should and loves him very much.  I know she is unhappy with how this has ended up and is dreading the end of weekly visits.  But, she has been the one in control of the fate of this case. Feeling like a mother is different than acting like a mother.  The mom has known what was expected of her from the beginning, yet she has made no changes in her life.  Right now, and no time in the future as far as I can see, will she be able to take care of Isaiah.  She can't keep him safe.  She can't put him first.  So, the case is going to be ending soon, and rightfully so.

All of this is common knowledge between us, the caseworkers, and the mom.  So, every time I take Isaiah to a visit, we have to muddle through a very awkward few minutes.  The case manager who supervises the visits is frequently a few minutes late because she comes directly from another appointment.  So that gives us those few more minutes to stand there waiting for her to get there.  Since its just me, the mom, and Isaiah-with Alexander usually waiting in the car not so patiently waiting, we stand outside my car and try to talk about Isaiah without actually discussing anything of significance or relevance to the case. 

Last week, Isaiah didn't want me to put him down.  When I did finally put him down, he turned right back around and reached for me while yelling "Mommy!".  Talk about awkward! I just picked him back up and hugged him, but didn't say anything.  Of course, his mom didn't say anything either. 
I don't know what to say.  "Sorry your kid looks to me as his mom instead of you, but its actually your fault so deal with it" doesn't rely seem like an appropriate option. So we stand there and comment on how Isaiah likes trucks and motorcycles. Its fun. Not. 

But, that's how this all goes. Its just part of the process. And, I know it could be worse. I could be standing there while the mom told me everything she hated about the way I am taking care of her son.  She could be blaming this all on me.  Or even worse, she could be mean to Isaiah during the visits.  But none of those things happen.  I am grateful for that.

 This will all be over soon and we can get into the groove of a normal family life. I don't think we will have too much trouble with that adjustment.

Alexander has been doing well.  His attitude continues to improve.  He is less moody than he was.  He's been driving me crazy with his whining, but that's normal 3 year old stuff.  I can see him continuing to develop relationships with us and our extended family.  That is a good thing for sure.  He just seems happier.  We saw a huge improvement in his overall mood right at first, but then it felt like he kind of stayed at that point for a long time.  Now, we are seeing improvement again.  It's slower improvement now, but I think that's a healthy sign.