That's what I feel today, relief. We went to court for Z today, now to be known as Alexander. This was the final hearing in the process to terminate his parents' rights (also called a "TPR" hearing). These hearings can be lengthy, we were told the last one took 10 hours. So when we went into court, we were expecting it to last all afternoon and probably stretch into another day.
In preparation for today, I met
with the lawyer representing DCS last week. He went over the things he was going to ask me about: how Alexander has been acting after visits, how he is so much better a few days later, his overall behavior at home in comparison to his behavior during visits, etc. I have been so stressed about this court date. The lawyer reassured us that his case was strong and he had more than enough evidence to get TPR granted. That did make me feel better, but when you are dealing with the fate of your child, being pretty sure doesn't cut it.
So to say that we were nervous going into today's events would be an understatement.
We all got there pretty early so we were waiting in the hall for several minutes. The mom sat down the hall from us. She seemed pretty much like her usual self. She didn't talk to anyone besides her mom and she shot us some nasty looks from time to time. We sat and talked with G's dad about how things were going with them.
And then the dad came in. We haven't seen Alexander's dad since that day he met with us in the park and told us he was going to sign his rights over so we could adopt Alexander. He sat next to Nathan and talked with us for a while. Pretty soon the caseworker came by and took him into a meeting room. When I looked up, the mom was also being taken into a meeting room by her lawyer.
Pretty soon it was time to go into court. We took our places and waited for the judge to come in. I don't know why being in that room makes me so nervous, but it does. I think it has to do with the fact that one person has great power over the fate of our family.
Anyway, court began and Nathan and I were prepared to be sitting there for the long haul. We were as ready as we could be to hear all the gorry details about Alexander's past that would serve as evidence of why TPR needed to be granted. We knew it was going to be painful to listen to, but it is a part of this process.
They started with a scheduled review of the case. Everyone was in agreement that G is doing well with his dad and that is where he needs to stay. Then they moved on to Alexander's portion of the case. The DCS lawyer talked first. He stated that both parents had signed voluntary termination of rights paperwork today and that would be discussed further after the review portion of the hearing. I don't know why court proceedings have to be so complicated, but they are! So, the judge ruled that all services the mom and dad were receiving in respect to Alexander were suspended permanently and the review hearing was over. G's dad was dismissed at that time and the TPR portion of the hearing began.
Except, it wasn't really a TPR hearing anymore. Because the parents had both voluntarily signed the paperwork, DCS didn't need to present the overwhelming evidence they had prepared and we didn't have to sit through it.
It was overwhelming really. I just couldn't believe this was all going to be over when we left that courthouse today. The judge went though a lot of questions with both parents. He explained to them about what voluntary and involuntary terminaton of parental rights means and had them state if they understood. He explained that since they had signed these papers, they no longer had any rights or responsibilities regarding Alexander, they would not be responsible for paying support, they were not entitled to visitation or any type of custody. Both said they understood. Then he asked them if they had been persuaded by anyone or offered any type of compensation for signing the papers. Of course both said no. Then, he closed by telling the parents that he felt they had both made a good decision that he felt was in the child's best interest. And he wanted them to take this as an opportunity to focus on the other responsibilities the parents have in their lives. At that point, court was dismissed. The judge looked at me then with a smile and nodded to me. He was telling me in that little gesture that he knew Alexander was going to be a permenant part of our family. It was a neat thing.
Then the emotions started flowing! The mom had been crying off and on during the hearing, and when I lookd over at the CASA at one point, I thought she might be on the verge of tears. I had kept it together though, not that I wasn't feeling emotional. Then, after the judge left, the mom came over to us. I didn't see her come over until Nathan got my attention. She was crying again. She hugged me and told me to take care of Alexander. I hugged her back and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I told her of course we would, and that we were crazy about him. I think I also said something along the lines of "you did the right thing, you did good", but now, I can't really remember what all I said. But I hope I did say something like that. The dad came over and hugged us too. And then of course the CASA. Even the mom's lawyer came over to hug me--that was shocking!
We stuck around and asked some technical questions. The DCS lawyer told us there would be 30 days that the parents could legally change their decision, but all those questions the judge asked them were to prevent them from being able to change their minds. He said our adoption attorney should be getting things in order so once that 30 days are over, the adoption can be finalized soon. It should all be a quick and painless process from here on out. Relief, big time relief. Thank goodness.
