State law says that once a child is removed from the home for 15 out of 22 months (doesn't have to be consecutive but it is in this case) a petition to terminate parental rights has to be filed. So, DCS will be filing that on both boys during our court date May 9. But, because the mom has expressed that she does want G and she has done fairly well with him during visits, DCS will be asking for his termination case to be dismissed. That doesn't mean she automatically gets custody. Nothing will change right now as far as what the mom gets with G. What will change with G is DCS will be asking for G's dad to begin his trial home placement. That means G will be going to live with his dad on or around May 7. DCS labels it as a "trial home placement" because that allows them to remain involved and keeps G's case open for 3 months. I think things will go well. G's dad has definitely shown several times and different ways that he wants G and that he is ready to be a dad. I think he can do it, especially with all the support he has. The huge thing came when they moved on to talking about Z (not that G leaving isn't huge to us). No one will be asking for the termination case to be dismissed on Z like they will be for G. There are a few ways this could go... 1) DCS files for termination and a new case is opened where DCS presents all the evidence they have to say why rights should be terminated (and there is a lot of evidence). 2) the mom relinquishes her rights voluntarily and saves us all from having to hear all that evidence and the adoption would take place in a few months. 3) the mom signs her rights over on a form called "termination with the intent to adopt", in that case Nathan and I are named directly on that paperwork as the adoptive parents and the whole thing is done quickly (a couple months). She said she wants option 3. I was so surprised, and ecstatic, to hear her say that. If she follows through with this, Z will be a permanent part of our family really soon. The good thing is, it doesn't matter if she follows through or not, all three of those options result in us adopting Z. It's just that option 3 is the quickest and least traumatic. Also, no matter what, we all agreed (including the mom) that visits with Z need to stop now. I really think as miserable as Z has been during these visits, she is just as miserable. (Don't judge me for enjoying the fact that she's miserable just a little). So, hopefully, today was the last time our little man will see his biological mom. I can't wait until his case is closed and he is a Coe forever.
So a lot of changes are coming soon and all at once. It is going to be hard to tell G goodbye. We have raised him from the time he was 6 months and now he's 20 months old. We have tried to keep our emotions in check and not let ourselves forget he is here only until his family is ready to have him back. Still, we are very attached to him. I truely love him the same as I love any one of the other kids. Only, with him, I have made myself reserve a tiny bit back so I could deal with him going without a breakdown. I'm happy though for G and his dad. That is where he belongs and being where they belong is what I want for all my kids. One good thing about this situation is G's dad has told me he wants G to have a relationship with his brother. So, hopefully we will be able to meet up every now and then so the boys can see each other. I think knowing that our goodbye next month won't be a forever thing makes this all so much more tolerable. Plus the fact that we now know for sure that Z is not going anywhere softens the blow of saying goodbye to G. What a bittersweet day May 7 will be!
No comments:
Post a Comment